Recent Experience...

I've just sat for my CIMA professional papers which ended on last Thursday.
It was my first attempt, and it really gives me a very different experience which I hardly being able to make a distinction wheter it is a good or a bad one...

I am very certain that I would fail all my 3 papers although I wish otherwise.
Initially I thought this would be another typical exam which requires hardwork and practices to grant me a pass which is the 50% mark. (mind this,merely to pass and not score)
When I sat for the first paper, I was totally blown away and you know, my hand was trembling and heart pounds wildly!
I wrote whatever I could and didn't stop writing and calculating till the very last second of the 3 hours time period.
When I stopped, it was really devastating because the questions that I didn't answer were summed up nearly 50%.
I could barely walked out from the exam hall, I could not feel my legs as it would be.
I've never faced with such huge defeat before in my life...
Not even in badminton or basketball or any exams or in love...
I would say, this is the first defeat that I took it in a conscious mind and indulged in it.
It's unbearable......

This is not the way I planned for...
For the other papers too, facing the same reality as the first one...

I doesn't want to describe the other papers in detail because my intention is not to tell you all about that. But to emphasise on the PROCESS of the examination period...
During the exam period, in the middle of the night...
I felt very exhausted and had not been sleeping for 3 days. To make things worse, that I have to hold those failure in me...
Deep in me,
I wanted to scream it out loud.
I wanted to punch the wall.
I wanted to crash myself on the way home.

It's hard to bear those feelings simultaneously... Tired, failure, worry, and scared.
I was considering of giving up this path.
"Why would you want to take this path when there's another simpler one?"

Guys...This is what I want to point out. Perhaps you all may have encountered this in your life somewhere, somehow...

But please bear in mind, Never consider giving up as an option.
It is not a solution, it is a cowardy means of evading the problem.
Put your best into it and don't let your heart to have even the slightest chance to regret in the future.
If you give up, later in life you may hear yourself saying "I should have finish that off...... "
"should have" but not "I had" !
You choose....
No man wants to live in regret.


My result, yes, very certain would be a fail.
But the process itself has a great impact on me, my determination.
I stayed on and move with the growth, at which at the same time I could have destroyed the whole progress with a simple decision of giving up.
Remember, the choice is yours...

A person, should never place strong emphasis on the RESULT.
But one should focus and experience the PROCESS itself!
It is the process that will teach us something, not the result.
Life is a learning process not an one-off event...